Cobwebbed Catacomb

I talked to a friend who had been looking for a new blog from me and was wondering when I would post again. A part of me was flattered that someone would look forward to something I had written. Another part of me wondered why someone would look forward to something I had written. All I write is just thoughts and opinions that come from that dark cobwebbed catacomb I call my mind. I'm not sure why they are interesting. About the only thing I can come up with is reading my thoughts make them feel a whole lot better about their own thoughts. Their thoughts probably sound a whole lot better and make a whole lot better sense than mine. I guess it really doesn't matter why, as long as it brings them some enjoyment and maybe a few laughs. But the thought that someone wanted to read what I had to say brought another question to mind that has nagged me for several years now. It seems that in the last several years I keep finding myself in leadership positions of one kind or another. These are positions that I got either by default or because I have been asked to take them. I don't by nature look to fill these rolls but I find myself taking them because others seem reluctant to or I can't seem to say no, even though I fully intend to when asked. I wonder if I am really stroking my ego, even though I really feel like I don't want to be in that roll and try to avoid it if at all possible, or as my lovely wife says God wants me there. I find this last reason just a little disconcerting because I know me and I feel like their are others who are far more qualified. I'm not exactly a scholar or have any other qualifications that would say to me I should be a leader. I am opinionated but that is more often a hindrance than a qualification. I've struggle with the roll of leadership and try to avoid it even though my wife continually hounds me to just do it. Maybe someday I will feel comfortable in that roll but I seriously doubt it because by long training and, to be honest, by my own desire I prefer being a loner.