Year End Muse

As I look back on this year I realize a lot has happened. I started a new position at work and have been forced to deal with people on a different level than I ever had before. It started out pretty shaky but I've learned a lot. I continue to make mistakes and to learn from those mistakes. I finally started climbing out of the bar ditch and renewed my relationship with my Father. I had forgotten what a rush it was to say yes to Him and let Him take me soaring. It's strange how easily it seems to be for me to get distracted from what I really want and from what I really enjoy. Thank goodness for friends that love me and correct me. I look at the relationships that have grown and deepened this year and I realize how lavish the love of my Father is. I went on my first mission trip this summer and fell in love with the Christian family in Leon and cherish the relationships that developed with the members of the Central family that I had the joy to go with. It made me look forward to retirement when I can spend even more time doing things like that. But what I'm really grateful for is My Fathers patience for the last five years. I realized while thinking about this year and the things that had happened that I had been sliding into a pit for quite a while and as I thought more about it I realised that the slide started when my son got into the trouble that led to his being in prison. As I think about it I listened to the whispered lies of satan and agreed with them. I kept wondering, and still do at times, what I could have done to change what has happened. I began to question everything about myself and who I was. I really didn't want to be around people because.... I'm not really sure why yet. I wanted to hide from everyone including God. Needless to say that didn't work. DUH!!! But the end result was me running away. I've grieved for my son, I've grieved for my wife and all that she has gone through and generally enjoyed a pity party instead of doing what I should have done. Give it to God and ask what He wants me to do. Actually He has told me what to do I just didn't want to listen or I thought it was to easy and I needed to do more. All I'm suppose to do is love my son without question and the rest is Gods. No Worries! It's funny how easy God really makes it and I just can't seem to accept it. It's been a year of learning, returning, hearing, feeling, blessing, renewing, growing and aging. It's been a very good year.